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Today at church, Mary Sue and I opted for a change of pew: We moved from the designated Patty Scheer pew to the designated Mildred Wines pew. Mildred, who has known me since I was wandering around the church in Huggies, is alot like Nanaw. She can really tell you just exactly "how the cow ate the cabbage" (Note: I don't really understand that hick phrase either...]. Anyway, Mildred quite a character.
So, sitting beside Mildred today, she leaned over, stuck her thumb up at me, and said, "Tha-ut's not DIRT under my fangerna-ill. It's blud. I didun't wont yew ta thank I wuz dirty or som-thun."
I replied, "Wul, what'd ya do Mildred?" (my accent comes roaring back when I'm at home).
"Wul, Jen-fur, I 'uhs uh shuitin' my gun, and my thum got caught in the hammer" ... .... My eyebrow went up.
"So, what were you shuitin' your gun AT, Mildred?"
"Wul, if ya don't shuit fer a wiile, you cain't hit nuthin when ya need ta hit sumthin. So, I'us jist practicin'"
And I thought my Nanaw was the only pistol-packin' Grandmaw around these here parts. Right after Popaw died last September, Nanaw was out in the country by herself and she thought she saw someone standing in the shadows of her yard. So, she got out her gun, threw the front door open and proclaimed, "I know yur there. WHO ARE YEW? You better tell me or I'm gonna FIRE!"
No response.
So Nanaw started firin'. It's a good thing that Nanaw didn't have a neighbor closer than 3 miles away or they would have thought there was a gangfight between the Herefords and the Jerseys near the Gray Wynn Klein Ranch... And Nanaw just kept firing...
The next morning, we found an easel leaning up against a tree where the Mr. Unidentified Burgular was standing the night before. After that, we got her a new HUGE flood light for her yard. Now, sun or not, it's daylight 24-7. I guess it was maybe the only way to save the cows, the windows, the buildings, and the cats from the pistol-packin' grandmaw.
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